I’d like to think that there’s been a whole lot of loving done over the years.
I mean, so much can happen in over 20 years of marriage, right? Good times. Hard times. Big sacrifices. Small ones. I’ve loved him through it all.
But what would be the most loving thing?
Would it be that gorgeous September morning when I vowed to love him “until death do us part”? Loving him.
Or maybe when I gave birth to our first child? The pain. The joy. Loving him.
Or maybe the 5th child….or the 8th? Loving him.
When I followed him across the country…and then back again? Loving him.
Or perhaps when I wept and prayed over him as I watched his vital signs drop in that cold hospital room. Oh, please God….desperately loving him.
Yes, lots of loving over the years. But the most loving thing…? I’ve thought long and hard over this question.
The most loving thing I’ve done as his wife is to seek Christ. That really would have to be it. Nothing has made a bigger difference in our relationship than my walk with God.
I don’t think I realized it at the time, when I first married him. You see, I was still young and something of a hopeful romantic. We had each other and that was what mostly mattered—him, me, and love. I just knew it was going to be beautiful.
And it has been beautiful.
But there were some things I didn’t anticipate we’d go through together.
I didn’t know then that there would be so many challenges. That we’d walk through grief, frustration, disappointment, and times when I could hardly see straight.
There was so much I didn’t know….
Oh, and not only things about him and our life together, but about myself. I didn’t understand what kind of person I really was. I was determined to be the best wife I could be, but it was more difficult than I’d counted on.
I discovered I was more selfish than I thought. More stubborn. More moody and more self-serving.
I found that my determination to be the “most loving wife” wasn’t enough. I needed Christ. I needed to seek God with all my heart. I needed to let Him work in me and change me. I needed to trust Him with our marriage.
So if you want to love your spouse? The most loving thing you can do is to love your God.
But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find Him, if you search after Him with all your heart and with all your soul. (Deut. 4:29)
Spend time in His Word. Soak it up and listen to what He is saying to you as you read through it.
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. (Ps. 119:105)
Go to Him in prayer. Thanking God and praising Him. Ask Him to do a work in you and in your marriage.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Phil. 4:6).
Walk in the Spirit. And not your own strength. Be filled with the Spirit of God.
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh (Gal. 5:16)
If you ever find yourself wondering what you can do to love your Beloved better? To improve your marriage?
Then I’d tell you this: spend time with your God. Seek Him. Walk with Him. Love Him.
It’s the most loving thing you can do for your marriage.
In His grace,
Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew L. Jacobson, literary agent and writer, and together they enjoy raising 8 children. Please join her over at Club31Women, a blog for any wife, mother, or sister who is looking for Biblical encouragement and inspiration.
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