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A Journey Through James Chapter 4

Hey Besties,

This week, I shared something deeply personal in our YouTube video—something I haven’t opened up about before. It’s raw, it’s real, and I truly believe it’s going to resonate with many of you. It took a lot for me to share my heart, and I found myself in tears more than once, but I felt led by the Spirit to be vulnerable in a way I haven’t been before.

I’d love for you to watch and, if it moves you, please share it with someone who might need this message today. Thank you for your constant love and support. 💖

Click here to watch this video on Youtube

 James opens chapter 4 with a direct question: “What causes fights and quarrels among you?” He doesn’t waste time getting to the heart of the issue—our inner desires. He says, “Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” 

He goes on to say, “You desire but do not have, so you kill.” Now, you might be thinking, “Well, I haven’t killed anyone, so this doesn’t apply to me.” But, let me ask you this: Have you ever killed someone’s joy? Have you crushed someone’s spirit just to get what you wanted? Perhaps that hits closer to home?

Whether it’s through quarreling, gossip, or cutting someone down, the reason we hurt others is because there’s something in it for us. That’s how most arguments play out, right? What starts as a small disagreement escalates into a full-blown battle, and before we know it, we’re feeding our pride like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet. What do we gain? A fleeting moment of pride. But what do we lose? Respect. Trust. Admiration. And that’s a heavy price to pay.

James shows us a natural progression here. It starts with unmet desires. We want something, but instead of turning to God, we let the frustration simmer. That frustration leads to conflict—hurting others emotionally and spiritually, quarreling, fighting—all because we’re trying to satisfy our own selfish ambitions.

A perfect example of this is Diotrephes in 3 John 1:9-10. John tells us that Diotrephes “loves to be first.” He wasn’t interested in serving others or promoting unity in the body of Christ. His selfish ambition caused him to reject John’s authority, spread malicious lies, and even refuse hospitality to other believers. His desire for control created division and conflict, all because he was looking out for himself.

But here’s what James points out: The root of the problem goes even deeper. We don’t have what we truly need because we aren’t asking God for it. Instead of bringing our desires to God with humility, we try to satisfy them on our own terms. And where does that lead? To frustration and conflict.

James is calling us to shift our focus. Away from the constant striving and fighting for what we think we need, to the One who truly provides. He’s calling us to lay our selfish desires aside to earnestly seek God’s will for our lives.

What might this look like in your life and mine?

• It’s pausing to bring our struggles to God in prayer instead of reacting.
• It’s letting go of our need to be right, choosing instead to humbly do what is right.
• It’s refusing to tear others down just to feel better about ourselves.
• It’s seeking God’s wisdom before making decisions.
• It’s choosing forgiveness over holding a grudge, knowing that peace is worth more than being justified in our anger.
• It’s celebrating the success of others, rather than feeling threatened or envious.
• It’s resisting the temptation to manipulate situations for our advantage, trusting that God’s plan is better than our own.
• It’s practicing patience when things don’t go our way, waiting on God’s timing instead of forcing solutions.
• It’s speaking words that build up, not tear down, even when it’s easier to criticize or gossip.

When we shift our focus away from the constant striving and fighting—away from ourselves—we open our hearts to the peace and wisdom that comes from trusting in God.

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This Week’s Challenge

This week, let’s intentionally choose to be humble in our interactions with others. If we’re frustrated, let’s pause and ask God for wisdom. And, instead of striving to be right, let’s seek to serve and build others up.

At the end of each day, consider if and how your choices made a difference.

This Week’s Bible Verse

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Week at a Glance

TUESDAY: JAMES 4:1-3 | Matthew 3 & John 3:22-30

Watch this week’s video at Time-Warp Wife or on Youtube (subscribe while you’re there).

Print off this week’s Bible verse at Time-Warp Wife.

Read the Introduction in the study guide.

Read James 4:1-3, Matthew 3 & John 3:22-30. Go through this section in your study guide, and answer the questions at the end of that section.

Check in on the community at: facebook.com/groups/biblestudies. While you are there, maybe you could drop in a friendly message wishing others a blessed week, or share a prayer for the week ahead.

WEDNESDAY: JAMES 4:4-10 | Hosea 1 & 3

Read: JAMES 4:4-10 and Hosea 1 & 3. Go through this section in your study guide, and answer the questions at the end of that section.

Share your reflections in the Facebook group.

THURSDAY: JAMES 4:11-12 | Luke 18:9-14

Read JAMES 4:11-12 and Luke 18:9-14. Go through this section in your study guide, and answer the questions at the end of that section.

Share your reflections in the the Facebook group.

FRIDAY: JAMES 4:13-17 | 2 SAMUEL 7

Visit Time-Warp Wife to read Darlene’s closing thoughts on this chapter.

Read JAMES 4:13-17 and 2 SAMUEL 7. Go through this section in your study guide, and answer the questions at the end of that section.

Share your reflections in the Facebook group. Try to respond to at least one other person’s post in the group to encourage others.

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