Uncommon Love: 6 Steps Toward a Beautiful Marriage

by | Nov 7, 2012 | Marriage, Uncommon Love

Starting today and continuing on through to December 12th, we’re bringing a new series to Time-Warp Wife called, “Uncommon Love: 6 Steps Toward a Beautiful Marriage.” 


 The series will be written by Lisa Jacobson of Club 31 Women, so get used to seeing her beautiful face around here. 

 I had a chance to see Lisa and her husband Matt together last month at the blogging conference and they’ve definitely got something that’s uncommon today–a beautiful marriage. 

 Since then, Lisa and I have been talking about giving her a permanent spot on this website to share some of her wisdom and experience. 

After a few phone calls with a little brainstorming and a lot of blog chatting we came up with the idea of a six-week long series where she’ll offer you some of the keys to unlocking this kind of love. Let me rephrase that–Lisa came up with the idea–she’s brilliant. 😉 

 Each Wednesday Lisa will offer you a different step in the series bringing you a total of six. 

So without further ado, let’s start today with Step 1: Place all hope for your marriage in the hands of the Lord.
Guest contributor, Lisa Jacobson, Club 31 Women
The conversation wasn’t intended for my ears and I knew it.
But somehow I couldn’t seem to help myself.  I so desperately wanted to hear what he was going to say next.
My husband was on the phone with an old Canadian friend whom he hadn’t spoken with since long before our wedding. They were talking about our marriage.
About me, to be precise.
You can understand then that I was incredibly anxious to hear what he would say. So quietly, and maybe wrongly, I stood by the door and listened while my husband confided in his friend.
And that’s when I heard this….
“My wife and I are blessed with an uncommon love,” he was explaining. He probably said more, but I never heard anything further. My heart was too busy soaring.

 An uncommon love.
Not merely love, but in his eyes we were enjoying an uncommonly beautiful love.
Now at about this point, you might be wondering what kind of woman I must be. Is there something special about me? Am I any different than you?
I bet she’s one of those easy-going, servant-hearted sweethearts.
I wish. But I’m afraid not.
Oh, then it’s him. He must be the most amazing, loveable man.
He is. But that doesn’t mean you’d want to be married to him.
Well then, I guess you two were simply made for each other.
And so we are.
But you want to know what the pastor was overheard pronouncing on our wedding day? “Those two will undoubtedly wake up hating each other.” Not exactly the prediction you want to hear as you’re starting out your life together, is it.
You see, we are made of the stuff that leads two people to hating – not to loving.
So how did we end up with an uncommon love?
Amazingly enough, the Lord has taken this feisty, self-willed thing, matched her up with that intense, determined, visionary man and somehow made love out of it.  Yet how do two people – destined for hate – learn to love?
Exactly the question I asked myself.
And quite possibly the question you’re asking yourself as well.
So what is she going to offer, “Six easy steps to an uncommon love?”
Yes.
And, no.
I mean, sure, there are steps a wife can take – although there aren’t exactly six of them and some of them are easier than others.
But isn’t marriage like that – a journey made up of a bunch of small steps and tiny moments? It’s certainly not like in the movies where love is portrayed as one dramatic and wild event. As something that either “works” or “doesn’t work”.
No, marriage is more like a long, slow walk together. One step at a time. Sometimes we step backwards and lose a little bit of ground. At other times we find we’re making great strides. In any case, our Lord intended for us to walk it together and to walk in love.

Here are just a few of the lovely things He can do in our marriage:

He can take something ugly and turn it into something beautiful. I know because I’ve watched Him do it right before my very eyes. For instance, he’s taken these two potential “haters” and turned them into lifelong lovers.
He can take something sorrowful, and turn it into joy. Most couples walk through grief at some time or another. A season when sadness threatens to overtake all known happiness, yet He can bring comfort and healing to you and your marriage.
He can take something bitter and turn it into something sweet.  Bitterness is one of the great destroyers in a relationship, but forgiveness and letting go can restore love and joy that seemed all but lost.
He can also take something good and turn it into truly wonderful. While many can attest to a “good” marriage, the Lord desires more for us than even that—He wants us to walk deeply in love for the rest of our days together.

So what are some of those small, sure steps we wives can take toward creating an uncommon love together? 

We can start by putting our hope in what the Lord says about our marriage and not listen to any voice which says otherwise. We can remember that we were made for love – and not just any love, but an uncommonly beautiful love – much like the love He has for us. 

Today’s Challenge:
Write down three areas in your marriage that you want to be made beautiful. Maybe areas such as communication, affection, or working together.

Here, I’ll go first. I’d like to be more available to my husband (and not just in the way you might be thinking), get better about making his priorities my priorities, and express more appreciation for him.

If you want to share yours here as well, then can we pray for each other? If they’re too private, then that’s okay too. Even if you only leave a first name, that works! The Lord knows your heart. 

So the first step is to place all hope for your marriage in the Lord’s hands. He cares as deeply about your relationship as you do – even more. 
Will you let Him make something beautiful out of your love?
In His grace,

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson, literary agent and writer, and together they enjoy raising 8 children. Please join her over at Club31Women, a blog for any wife, mother, or sister who is looking for Biblical encouragement and inspiration. 
Find her on facebook: Club31Women
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