31 Days of Prayer for Marriage,  Uncategorized

That We’ll Be Affectionate (Marriage Challenge – 31 Days of Prayer)

Day 14 - 31 Days of Prayer for Our Marriages

Please note: Someone attempted to hack into my blog. As a result, it was on lock down for 24 hours. I apologize that I wasn’t able to post during that time. The enemy obviously hates this prayer challenge. But we’re pressing on! Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world!!

I’ve published this one on the blog before, but since it’s a good fit with today’s prayer, I thought I’d share it again. It’s also one of my favourites. 🙂

I’m not his sister, nor do I want to be. And so there are days when I pull Michael close and say, “Let’s try that again.”

After 25 years, pecking has become a habit for us. We always say hello, with a warm long-lasting hug, but the kiss? It lost its spark somewhere around the mid 90’s along with the Scrunchie.

Before that we used to kiss each other passionately. We kissed like we meant it, and we kissed a lot.
For the most part, the kiss became routine for us like so many other things in our life. Until I took the challenge that is.

The kissing challenge has been around for years. There are books written on it, and people are talking about it. Why? Because it works.

There’s a story about a young man who’s been married for seven years. His wife is incredible, his kids are great, and things are going well for them. For the most part his marriage is good, but something is lacking. The passion is gone and he doesn’t know why.

One day he decides to bring up the topic of marriage with his father. If anyone had a great marriage it was his mom and dad. Married over 30 years, his parents still held hands when they walked and still smiled at each other like two teenagers in love.

“Dad, what’s your secret?” he asked. “Why is your marriage so strong when so many others are failing?”
Taking off his watch, he passed it to his son who turned it around to read the inscription. “15 seconds everyday ~ no less.”

“I got this watch from my father,” he said, “and now I’m giving it to you. Kiss her 15 seconds every day. No less. Come back to me in a month and tell me if it doesn’t make a difference.”

Could 15 seconds make a difference? I had to try it out in my laboratory (the kitchen), and my handsome subject just happened to be there.

Approaching him for a kiss, I leaned in. He responded with the usual quick peck on the lips, but just as he started to duck away, I grabbed hold of his waist pulled him in close and whispered, “Let’s try that again, but longer.”

15 seconds was all it took for the passion to wash over me, reminding me of how I fell deeply and passionately in love with him.

Who knew that one little kiss could make such a big difference? Apparently King Solomon did when he wrote these beautiful words in The Song of Solomon,

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for your love is better than wine. – Song of Solomon 1:2

If you want to bring passion back into your marriage, then I encourage you to take this kissing challenge along with the prayer challenge. Kiss each other for about 15 seconds each day. Don’t put on a timer or start counting the seconds; just be in the moment long enough for a lingering passionate kiss that says I’d marry you all over again.

Chime in: Would you like to leave a comment or an encouraging thought? Click here to join the discussion.

It’s never too late to join the challenge! Click here for details. 

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife


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over at Women Living Well!! 

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  • Lisa Maria

    I wondered what had happened…so glad you got it sorted out! Yes, I do believe Satan is angry…he is attacking many marriages within our GMG bible study groups. I guess that means we have to step up our prayer…let’s fight for marriages right now. Lifting up the marriages of everyone doing this challenge, may God protect us and give us the courage and wisdom to battle our unseen enemies.

  • pd

    If your trying to reconcile after adultery and you really want to do this kissing challenge, how do you get him to participate? I’m doing all the work it seems and I only hope it’s going to be enough. He won’t pray or go to church so it’s all on me even though he’s the adulterer. Thanks for your blog and book. Love all the great advice and scriptures to help me on this painful journey.

  • Sharon

    This one is tough. My hubby had 2 different types of cancer this year and his bladder/prostrate/ ureatha/33 lymph nodes were removed in July. There will never be the physical intimacy again. He won’t kiss me because he doesn’t want to get me “excited” and then not complete it. Hugs are in abundance and I am so thankful for them. I guess I need to pray to adjust to this new lifestyle. I have no problem with helping him daily with changes. Just this one area. That we all know is important. But not the essential part of marriage. We are still best friends/ partners in crime (teeheehee)/confidants etc.Maybe putting this in words will help me to adjust. thanks for this study. I have already seen a change in me towards hubby.

  • Jaimie Ramsey

    I love this! Such a sweet story, and a wonderful reminder. My husband and I have been married for three and a half years (which I realize isn’t very long), but people still sometimes ask if we’re newlyweds. We do little things to try to keep romance alive and flourishing in our marriage, like always kiss hello and goodbye when one of us leaves the house, sitting on the same side of the booth at restaurants so we can hold hands and just be closer to each other, and flirting playfully with each other at home and in public (although we don’t do too much PDA outside the house 😉 ). I can’t wait to see him at the end of each day, and all week we look forward to being together over the weekend. My prayer is that we continue these habits so our romance lasts a lifetime! 🙂

  • Lucy Sanguinetti

    I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your site! I was so excited to find it, and to get in on the 30-day Marriage challenge. My husband and I have been married for 28 years, and have three fabulous children. We have committed to “keep dating” forever! Holding hands, kissing, saying “I love you”….it is all sooooo important! Thank you for your passion for marriage!!

  • PrairieReen

    Awe yes! The 15 second kiss. Be careful when you start this challenge. Make sure you are free to head to bed. LOL It’s important to remember that long, passionate kisses are just at important as hugs for your marriage health. No “machine gun kisses” for us! (Well, within reason….hahaha) Married since 1986 😉

  • Grace O.

    This 31 days of prayer challenge has been so awesome for me. I really love this prayer today, and have loved the others since I jumped onto the challenge a few days ago. I’m so sorry your blog got hacked. You are so right to identify the enemy as Satan, attacking the work the Holy Spirit longs to accomplish through your blog as we women pray to pursue God and be all he has called to be in our marriages. I really struggle with the “affectionate” piece, my husband is so good at pouring abundant doting love on me and I’m better at making him laugh with a witty retort than I am at returning his cheesy affection. Thank you for encouraging us to serve our husbands and pray over our marriages. It’s only been a few days and I feel my heart transforming as I pray so intentionally that God would empower ME to take responsibility to love him and honor him as I ought. Thank you thank you thank you!

  • Peggy

    Sorry Darlene about your blog’s hack problem (I really despise when that happens along with all the other cyber attacks but it doesn’t surprise me that the enemy is a bit annoyed by this challenge)(yawser)! But Amen … “greater is He that is in us”. Pray on and on! Although I can’t participate in this sweet challenge, I find it to be a smacker of a great one! However, from this long distance I can’t real do it and for about a decade before I left, kisses were all I got … and worse, sometimes just a peck on the cheek. So passion must have leaped off my radar long ago. So I definitely get how a peck was not enough and a real smoosher of 15 segundos might just ignite that spark. As for me and mine, I’m content with the peck for now. And your prayer … spot on! May we always cherish and respect one another. Perhaps King Solomon and this dear old dad had good advice. Praying an added covering over your blog as we press on in prayer.

    Blessings and hope the rest of your week is much better,

  • Sherry Graham

    Darlene, looked for you all day yesterday and prayed that all was well. Sorry to hear about the hackers but we know we can’t be stopped and today’s prayer is the one I need most. I have problems in this area and I’m mostly told to remember my guys needs, that’s fine and good but the. I do t get much out of it. I’ve never heard of the 15 second kiss but I can tell you it will be practiced a lot. Already tried it and it made us feel closer. I love my husband and want to please him in all ways and have been praying about this for sometime. Who knew I would recieve Gods answer during a prayer challenge, I’d say its a God thing for He led me to you and this challenge and so far I haven’t missed a day. I also plan on repeating it every month after we are done. Thank you so much.

  • Christine

    My husband and I have actually been working on hugging longer. I never heard of the kissing challenge. This will be a great one to add to it! We try to hug for at least 20 seconds. It’s just long enough to feel relaxed and happy. It works every time and it makes us close even for those few moments a day. We just get busy and life takes over, but we have to be mindful of each other. At the end of the day the kids will move out and it will be us together and we don’t want to lose that. 🙂

  • Kelly

    I’m sorry about the hacking problem yesterday- I had hoped that something such as an illness hadn’t caused your absence- Glad you’re back !! I will try the 15 second kiss. My husband and I are “challenged” in this whole area due to serious problems in our marriage from the not-so-far past. We pray for healing of our hearts and minds and know that if it is God’s will, we will be able to experience the type of loving marriage that he designed us all to be able to experience and enjoy. I’m also planning on suggesting reading the Song of Solomon together with my husband.

  • Brenda Skene

    I am sorry about the hacking problem, hope it is all fixed now.
    I love this series and am learning so much even though we’ve been married 29 years. Thank you so much for sharing with us, God bless you.

  • Laura

    Oh Darlene I struggle with this so very much. I’m not like most women…I don’t love ‘spooning’ and I’m not usually very fond of snuggling or touching and kissing…oh wow. I can hardly believe that I was given such a dedicated, hardworking, AFFECTIONATE man! He is the love of my life, but oh how I wish I had the inclination that he does. I feel like I let him down. When I was in college, there were other guys that would call me the ‘iceberg’. What’s with that???! I pray so often for God to help me with physical desire, so I know it will come. Suggestions?? For any smaller beginnings other than a 15 second kiss? lol I would appreciate a smaller diving board for an ‘iceberg’ like me 🙂 (by the way, I may be ‘chilly’ sometimes, but I am a very warm person. I love people and take great joy in caring for my husband and our lovely children. I’m a strange combination I think…;) Any suggestions of what I should be praying for in regards to this struggle? Thank you!

    • Darlene Schacht

      Smaller diving boards are awesome. We all need them don’t we? I think that any touch can be a good touch. Hugging, holding hands, a hand on the shoulder… Obviously your husband loves you for who YOU are, and that’s wonderful.

  • Jim and Barbs Fortin

    Ah, the physical side of our love! This has a real struggle for us for the last 15 years! I had two back surgeries that failed. He takes care of me now!. I need TO prepare my back by resting and lots of it for about 3 days! Even then it isn’t always possible. My love was tempted, shall we say. I prayed day and night. Years later, Afterwards, we discovered the intimacy of touching without making love. Many times this is even more enjoyable, just laying in each others arms alnd kissing. Those forgotten Tender Moments were just rushed my too many times. For us love these Tender Moments entertwined with the physical side! !!

  • Amy

    I am so glad you were able to get your website fixed. =)
    Oh, and…..they Kiss works. =) Just seems to light the fire every time. =)
    Have a blessed day, and thank you for blessing us with this prayer challenge.

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