Marriage

Enduring Hope for Discouraged Wives

Like most other women I recognize love when my husband pays attention to me. I love it when Michael walks through the door and straight into my arms. He does that every single day of the week. I also like it when he kisses me on the cheek and tucks me in before heading off to work in the wee hours of the morning. It’s his way of expressing his love.

If you’re not getting the desired attention you need from your husband, it’s likely that you’ll search out other ways to fill that space. Some women take to shopping thinking that more “things” will bring them peace. Others spend countless hours socializing on the net, or filling their face with food, and for some the unfortunate alternative is finding another man.

Each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. ~ James 1:14-15, (NIV)

That is a strong verse, but when we consider that only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents1, it’s time to seek out a cure for this epidemic.

Remember the story of the Samaritan woman who came to draw water? It’s found in John chapter 4. While the disciples were out grocery shopping (yeah, they were grocery shopping—check it out), Jesus met a woman at the well, and asked her for a drink. He knew that this particular woman had a void inside her that led her to thirst for something more in her life. It moved her to return to the same proverbial well time and again hoping to fill her pain with something that would last—something that would quench her thirst, until finally He came offering an everlasting well of hope.

It’s possible that this void resulted in failed marriages time and again, since we know she had five. One can only guess, but we do know that the same Spirit of life in Christ Jesus is there for us too.

Earthly things can fill the void for a moment, maybe even a few years, but when we are quenched by the Spirit of comfort we’re satisfied from within. When one experiences a spiritual satisfaction there’s no longer a need return to the well time and again.

A bad marriage can feel like a spiritual vacuum at times, since weak relationships create that constant need to be filled. That’s a great thing when you enter into a deeper relationship with Christ. Not such a good thing when we run into the arms of another man.

We’re complicated beings, aren’t we? The simple solution is to replace our wants with His (more of you, Lord—less of me), and in doing so we enrich our marriage. Because God has ordained wives to be ministers in our home, the love of God becomes a strong foundation on which to rebuild.

It’s one thing to stick to a marriage because you feel that it’s your duty as a wife and mother, but it’s an entirely better thing when we purpose to add virtue to our lives.

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. ~ 2 Timothy 2:22, (NIV)

A noble woman is an attractive force, ladies. I know it, you know it, and so do our husbands. Put God first in your life, seek righteousness in all that you do, and let He who offers an everlasting well of hope become your all-in all!

1National Marriage Project at Rutgers University.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

2 Comments

  • Meliss

    So you started with the loving gestures your husband gives you, then suggest a husband desires a godly woman who seeks the lord, and end with fulfilling our needs with our effort in our relationship with god. Do you really know what its like to be where most woman are? Struggling for attention from their husbands? Never being enough for them to desire because of how they fuilfill their own needs?

  • Christine

    I think she does, Meliss. I know I do. Trust me, I understand the broken heart that only sees a husband’s mistakes, flaws and utter selfishness. And sometimes a man really is “that bad”, but married to a very godly woman. We should definitely not blame wives for their husbands’ choices (which can hurt us more than we ever imagined) – we are each accountable before God. Some of us may not be married to men who have repented of their sinful hearts and begun to live for Christ. But we can still live for Christ! I understand that this is very hard. But he loved us and died for us while we were still sinners. And he has more than enough power to give us the strength to love our husbands sacrificially, displaying his love. I pray that you are filled with the love of Christ, as this post encourages, and that you are able to see his goodness in your life even if you can’t see any good in your husband (there is no good in us apart from Christ, either). Much love from a sister who has “been there”. Wish I could hug you!

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