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Some Hard-to-Swallow Truth About Marriage

Biblical Truth

I met Courtney Joseph in 2010 just before I set up my blog here. In fact it was her appearance on the Rachel Ray show that got me thinking about the title, “Time-Warp Wife.” I liked it. It had a nice ring to it, and besides that, I’m fond of antiques. In fact I have a pay phone on my kitchen wall right next to the vintage Coca-Cola cooler.

Aside from cotton aprons, rotary phones, hand-me-down quilts, and leather-bound books, there’s something else I hold dear to–vintage values. After all, “Jesus Christ [is] the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.” – Hebrews 13:8

But here’s the thing–our world has changed. And the Bible isn’t commonly accepted as today’s handbook for marriage.

I’m all for equality when it comes to men and women, but with that said, I stand beside the biblical principles for marriage. Courtney outlines them on page 57 of her book:

  • God created wives to be helpers to our husbands. – Genesis 2:18
  • God commands wives to respect our husbands. – Ephesians 5:33
  • God commissions our husbands to be leaders of the home. – Ephesians 5:22-24

The thing is that we’re all created equally, but God has assigned us different roles. We see this in government, in the workplace, in the church, and yes–in the family.

If that’s turning back the clock on someone’s rights, be it men or women, then I say let’s turn back the clock and keep turning it back until men and women accept scripture as truth that is both applicable and beneficial to families today.

Earlier this week a reader told me I was narrow-minded, along with a, “Shame on you, Time-Warp Wife.”

It was in response to a quote I shared about love and how the world is redefining love to accept false religions, be tolerant of sinful behaviour, and to avoid offending people with the truth.

The thing is, there is no shame in sharing truth, the only shame is when we don’t share the truth of the gospel.

Truth is a beautiful thing, but there are some days when it’s hard to swallow. And there are some days when you might be walking alone.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. – 1 Peter 4:12-14

I love being lighthearted on the blog. It’s fun to share articles like, “36 Ways to Cuddle With Your Man,” but if I alter the commandments of God in the process then my work is fruitless. If all we want is feel-good entertainment, we can turn on some afternoon television, but if we want more for ourselves and for our marriage let’s turn to the Word.

My hope is that we’ll grow together in deep soul-searching fellowship that not only enriches our marriages, it brings glory to God!

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels. – Mark 8:36-38

Tune in tomorrow when Matthew L. Jacobson expands on the topic of our roles in marriage and shares a bit more of this hard-to-swallow truth. You won’t want to miss it!

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

34 Comments

  • Cindy Tucker

    Without a doubt I grew up being taught the traditional marriage roles were a trap. They probably were because they drifted from God’s intended harmony into bondage….. But what I found was that the “new” definitions in feminism were just a different kind of trap. Thank you, LORD, for showing me that our society has latched on to “the world revolves around ME, ME, ME” concept in family rather than “WE revolve around God” type of family.

  • TeaJae

    Thank you Darlene for standing up for truth and righteousness. It’s a hard pill to swallow for the majority of people. They do like their ears tickled. Our Heavenly Father has given us the tools needed to make the proper choices and decisions all we have to do is use them. It’s challenging to be a servant of the only True God when the masses think you are strange. Being a Christian isn’t easy. They persecuted Christ so we should expect persecution too as a slave is no greater than his master. What is wrong in the eyes of God is made to be right nowadays and when you stand up for righteousness sake my word you get the wrath of people. Stand strong and proud for our Heavenly Father always no matter what, do not shrink back or coward under pressure. Great post.

  • Windy

    We have a saying in the South, “tell the truth and shame the devil”. It fits perfectly to this. I don’t go to church to feel good about myself or my actions (pride), I go to hear how I can be more like God with my mercy and grace, and how I can seek Him in every aspect of my life. We also have another saying in the South, “the truth only hurts when it should” 🙂

  • Dawn

    I deeply appreciate the truths you bring out in your messages. My views are considered a little “time warped” too so I am thankful to have a support group as I try to live out my God-given role as a wife and mother. God’s way works! It always has and it always will. Tough as it may be at times it is still the best way. I hope to encourage you to stand against the attacks of the enemy and never waiver on speaking truth. May God use this avenue to reach women’s hearts for Jesus and then they in turn will influence their homes. God bless you!

  • Diana Howard

    Thank you for all of your encouragement & standing up for Godly principles even when it’s not popular! I agree the truth is hard to swallow some times but it still doesn’t change it. I didn’t always like the principle of gravity when my kids would spill milk all over the table but it comes in mighty handy to keep my feet on the floor. The truth is a double edged sword. It is hard to change our thinking even when it goes against what the Bible says but when we do it literally sets us free to walk in the blessings that God meant for us. Keep up the good work! God Bless 🙂

  • Leslie

    Darlene,
    I just want you to know that I absolutely love this article and ADORE your website. I’ve only recently stumbled upon The Time Warp Wife and have been so encouraged by it! I’ve also signed up for the daily emails as you post them and it’s just an added boost to my day as I strive to glorify God in my home and respect and love my husband unconditionally…which usually isn’t hard because he is an awesome godly man.
    Again, thank you for the biblical encouragement and keep up the fantastic work!!!

    ~Leslie

  • Melissa L.

    Its seems a bit convenient to me that you talk about telling the truth no matter how hard it is. Yet this article says NOTHING about wives SUBMITTING themselves to their own husbands. Yes, that is a biblical truth. Yes, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and always. This is to include submitting yourselves to your own husbands and obeying them as Sarah obeyed Abraham. Yes, I know this is not a popular concept in today’s world but it is in God’s wisdom how the homes is supposed to be established and not telling your readers the real truth of how to make a Godly home is not helping their homes.

    For the record submitting does not mean a door mat for a man to mistreat a woman because he is the “head of the household”

    Sincerely,
    Melissa

    • Darlene Schacht

      No, not “convenient” at all. It’s a little inconvenient, but a blog post is only so long that I can’t fit everything I want to say into one post.

      It was summed up here, “God commissions our husbands to be leaders of the home.” – Ephesians 5:22-24

      Submission is what tomorrow’s post is on. I knew that Matt was discussing it in depth tomorrow or I would have gone a little deeper into the topic. I think you’ll like it!

  • NicolewifeofDustin

    Thank you for leaving encouraging messages of truth & trying to get people to tough it out, even during the “storms” of life. Jesus sets us free!! By remaining in His word, and letting our husbands lead, God will pour out so many blessings!

  • Heather @ My Overflowing Cup

    I’m so sorry that you were spoken to that way, but I love your attitude. It’s not always easy to remember that we should rejoice in our persecution when the angry words are flying, but you are an excellent example of how to do that gracefully. You are absolutely right – we must share the truth in love. People will not want to hear it, but it is our duty regardless. Thank you for standing for truth and for being an example to a world that desperately needs it. Another excellent post!

  • Kim Sullivan

    Thank you so much for always sharing your heart, which yields an evident love for Christ and His Word! My husband and I are an example of what His love can do. If it weren’t for Jesus we wouldn’t be together today. Our test has become our testimony. The roles in our marriage are not popular ones in our society and I’m glad. I followed the societal norm for a long time which led to a dark path of pain destruction, and hurt. I am so grateful to be focused on our Biblical roles as husband and wife, for if we weren’t we would not be where we are today…which is an amazing place!!! @Darlene…I love your blog and the heart you share. Thank you for all you do! And don’t ever stop because you are making a difference in the lives and marriages of many!

  • Becky

    Yup, the truths are hard to swallow because it means submitting to CHRIST first. If we do not submit to God in our lives, we’ve made ourself numero uno and completely throw out the truth Christ stated in Luke: if you are going to follow me, deny yourself. Also, LOVE your take on criticism. More of HIM, less of me!

  • Monica Farina

    I also want to tell you thank you for another wonderful blog post. I love to find The Time-Warp Wife in my email box each morning. Your ministry is very much appreciated.

  • Bee

    Love that your blog is so, from what I have read, biblically sound. If anyone argues with the truth… their argument is not with you it is with God! That is one argument I don’t want to get in (one with Him!). Thanks for sticking to the truth – no matter what. I just want to say what a honor it is to be my husband’s helper. What a honor it is to have just one very special person that God would have ME take care of and partner with for life! That person, our husband, whether he knows it or not is counting on us to take care of him, too help him, to stand by him! If we won’t, who will? I just cannot say enough what a PRIVLEGE it is and what an IMPORTANT job it is to be a wife!

  • Regina Gibson

    Hello Darlene, I wanted to tell you I was looking online for a Bible study and came across Good Morning Girls and I loved the concept. I am interested in joining the new session when it starts. I also subscribed to your blog. I wanted to say the one I got yesterday about God chooses us as we are and we are beautiful to Him brought tears to my eyes. It was an answer to something my Mom and I were talking about earlier that day. God has been speaking to me through you. I am 47 yrs old and have 3 children and have gotten lazy with my house cleaning and such. I just prayed the other day I want to do what God wants but I want to do it with joy. He answered my prayer with you and your blog and Good Morning Girls. I am on my way to being more organized focused and God centered. Thank you and don’t listen to the naysayers, you are doing a wonderful thing and God Bless You. One more thing, God impressed to me awhile back that God, Jesus and us are like a kaleidoscope. Kaleidoscope means beautiful form to see in Greek. I am a reflection of Jesus who is my mirror with God being the light shining in, I am a changing form like the pattern of the kaleidoscope. My pattern is Jesus, my form is always changing to become more like Him and it’s beautiful as He is beautiful. We are Beautiful to God because He sees us through the blood of Jesus.

  • Geraldine

    Dear Darlene,

    I left the church a while back because my husband and I felt the pastor thought I should put service to him and the church before my husband. (Among many other things) I feel that other women rule over their husbands. I do not want to be that. I too feel like they look at me as “too biblical” even when dealing with other Christians. I feel confused like I’m missing something they aren’t. I don’t find you “Narrow minded” The word does say we are to follow the narrow path, right?

  • Venera

    Totally agree! We just shared these truths with the kids the other night. If we do don’t share the truth in love we are not helping anyone, not even ourselves. Praying for your strength when those fiery arrows come.

  • Lesley

    The only comment (other than AMEN!!) I will make is this. If the law that states our rights reflects the inalienable nature of them (i.e. God-given – so stated in the Declaration of Independence), then by following God’s will & commandments we do NOT give up any rights. The difference between men & women is, as you said, in our roles within our families & communities, not in our legal rights or liberties. Dissimilarity does not imply inequality.

  • Kiescha Johnson

    I agree 100% with you and in addition to that I being a Pastor’s wife see that the break down in the home of God’s idea of marriage bleeds through to the church. The women that have a issue so to speak with respecting their husbands and letting him lead the home also tend to be the ones with issues of how the church is being led and following the pastor. I feel completely and deeply certain that if we get our homes back the way God intended them then we could see a true revival and awakening in our churches and in our country.

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