Dear Darlene,
I loved the advice you gave to the young woman in yesterday’s article, “Bride in Training.” So great! Especially the counsel to discuss finances in detail before marriage; my husband and I did not do this very well, and it caused confusion. We finally worked through it with a lot of communication, but it would have been so much easier if we had really hashed it out beforehand.
Our pre-marriage financial talk was:
“I really don’t like dealing with accounting, would you mind handling that part of the household?”
Followed by his reply, “Sure, whatever you would like.”
Meanwhile, his strength is not organization (he has many other strengths), and it is a strength I had, so it did not make sense to do things this way. He really felt frustrated dealing with it, and though it isn’t my favorite thing, it is something that I deal with better. So, now I do the accounting and things run smoothly.
I also liked the tip about learning from the respective mothers about cooking. I cooked with my husband’s mother for two weeks before we got married, and learned many different dishes. I was already a person that loved to cook–and cooked a lot–but there is something wonderful about bonding with a future mother-in-law in this way. And there are certain things I can make for my husband now that I would have never known how to make before (e.g., snowball cookies, brisket, sweet and sour meatballs–just like his mom). Certain recipes are particular to each family. These things make a big difference in an early marriage!
Anyway, lots of good tips. Hope you have a great weekend!
Meghann
Dear Meghann,
Thank you for your letter. Your encouragement means a lot coming from a young bride who’s recently experienced all of these changes [Meghann’s written to me before].
Marriage is our biggest readjustment in life and the first few years bring us through an incredible life change unlike any other we’ll ever face. Even the food we eat is different. It’s a wonder that our brains can handle the shift, but I suspect that romance goes a long way in easing the stress.
God knew what He was doing when He created men and women; every detail is wonderfully and carefully thought through. Amazing!
I especially like your thoughts about bonding with your future mother-in-law, and believe that it’s something every young bride should consider. I’m reminded of Ruth who was an example to all women when she embraced her husband’s family as her own. Her devotion to Naomi is a love story all on it’s own.
Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.
~ Ruth 1:16, NIV
If my blog speaks to as much as one woman and makes a difference in her marriage than I have done a part in God’s work, but it hasn’t been without the encouraging feedback from women like you. Thank you!
You are loved by an almighty God,
Darlene
For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net
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