Guest Blogger,  Housekeeping

5 Life-Giving Truths When You’re Struggling With Feelings of Defeat

Special Note: This article is part of an intentional home series by Davonne Parks. To view the rest of the articles in this series, go here.

I desperately want to be a life giver. To refresh, uplift, and renew those around me. But sometimes, I fall painfully short of that desire.

In the hours after failed attempts or angry words, I sometimes feel unlovable and unredeemable. I’ll even feed myself lies when I don’t feel worthy of truth. And the truth is that while I should always treat others kindly, one bad moment does not define me.

One bad hour does not have to translate to a terrible day.

One slew of unkind words, though not excusable, does not take away the thousands of beautiful sentences I’ve woven into someone’s heart.

Mess-ups, sin, and shortcomings are all redeemable. But to grow, we must repent and offer ourselves grace as we feed our minds with life-giving truths.

If you’re struggling with feelings of defeat, I want you to tell yourself these truths. Say them out loud. Feel the healing that can come from believing these words:

  • I am lovable. Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
  • I am capable. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
  • I am valuable. 1 Peter 3:3-4 “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”
  • I am redeemable. Romans 8:37-39 “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
  • I am enough. Psalm 139:14 “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.”

If we want to move forward, if we want to do well in life, we must first believe that we can. We have to internalize the knowledge that every inch of us was lovingly created. We must know that we’re not beyond help.

Although we shouldn’t make excuses for poor habits, it isn’t beneficial to wallow in self-defeating talk, either. We can gently acknowledge where we need to improve as we offer ourselves grace.

Because when we stop trying to do things in the perfect way at the perfect time, we give ourselves permission to move forward, right where we are, starting today.

Lasting change won’t happen perfectly. It requires time and discipline. And a positive difference isn’t always noticeable from the outside until great progress has been made within our own hearts first.

But when we refuse to give up, we will begin making improvements. Yes, it might be two steps forward and one (or three) steps back, but we will keep trying because every positive decision helps to propel us forward.

We will refuse to give up so we can mature into the women that God created us to be. We can choose to be refined (Zechariah 13:8–9).

And it will be beautiful.

Personal Thought/Application Question: Do you deeply believe that you are lovable, capable, valuable, redeemable, and enough? If not, write the words or print them out, then put them on your bathroom mirror or in your pocket. Tell yourself the powerful truths over and over again until you believe them. And then keep on telling yourself, so you never forget.

Davonne Parks believes that your role at home is valuable and she wants to help you thrive in your environment. Click here to receive immediate access to the FREE printable library she created just for you.


  • Karen

    Darlene, You are amazing– I love your Bible Studies. They open my eyes to new ways of looking at scripture. Today I received your e mail –and lo and behold– it was on Self Esteem and defeat. I am a mental health therapist and today I will be seeing someone that can use this–especially with the scriptures. It is perfect!! I have been having trouble finding scriptures that help in the areas I helping other’s to work on. Thanks. so much for your efforts and wisdom. I am looking forward to the next Bible study– I have wanted to understand the feast–but felt it overwhelmed me. I pray you have a wonderful week, year and life. Thanks so much

    • Davonne Parks

      Karen, I am so glad this article blessed you! I’m guest posting this series while Darlene is taking a 2 month blogging break to prepare for her feast study, but I know she will be blessed by your words when she signs back in. Thank you for sharing with us today.

  • Jeannette Gass

    Thank for this so needed to read and hear this. I do agree on e bad moment or my sinful past does not define who I am threw Christ who saves me .I struggle with feeling and knowing I am loved.