How to Inspire the Best In Your Husband

How to Inspire the Best in Your Husband

Inspiration is a curious thing.

It can happen when you least expect it, and stick around with you longer than you ever imagined it would.

I’ve been inspired over the years in a number of ways. Half the time I don’t think the person even realized that they made a lasting impression on me. Perhaps it’s because I didn’t realize it myself until some time later.

Like the time I saw a wreath on my friend’s living room wall. For several years after that I made beautiful wreaths, in fact I still have a few of them hanging around.

Or the time that my sister walked into my parents house looking 10 years younger than she usually did. Her attention to exercise got me thinking. It also got me off of the couch and onto the treadmill.

When you inspire someone, you leave a positive impression on their mind and their soul.

Another definition of inspiration is the process of breathing in or inhaling. (dictionary.com)

I like to look at it this way. When we inspire someone we breath life into them. When we discourage others, we drain them.

Don’t misunderstand, there’s a big difference between trying to change someone and inspiring them to grow.

We weren’t created to mother our husbands (someone’s already been given that role) we were created to be a helpful companion and friend.

When you live with someone for decades your lives are bound to affect each other. Whether you intend to or not you will either inspire each other to grow or discourage one another from trying.

We could just soar through our marriage hoping that we have more good days than bad, or we could be intentional about influencing our husbands in a positive way.

Let’s look at five ways we can do that:

1. Pray for your husband often. The Bible tells us that “the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16). Prayer is the greatest gift that we can bring to our marriage. Nothing will affect the life of a husband as greatly as a praying wife will.

2. Affirm your husband. Remind him why he’s important, and what it is that you love about him. Words are a powerful force, use them for good.

3. Give him respect. Esteem him as the leader in your home, and let your attitude reflect his importance.

4. Be a close companion and friend. Iron can’t sharpen iron unless it’s in contact. Seize opportunities to spend time together. Be the close friend that he married.

5. Encourage him to grow. Share in his dreams. What things are important to him? How can you nurture those interests? Be his cheerleader.

When I say cheerleader, I’m not talking about a blonde in a short skirt with two pompoms. I’m talking about a woman who stands at the sidelines cheering him on to be the best he can be. I’m talking a woman who believes in him when he doesn’t believe in himself. I’m talking about a woman who inspires him to press on when he’s giving up on his dreams.

I’m talking about the woman that you were created to be.

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. – Genesis 2:18

Have a question or a comment? Click here to join the discussion.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
The Time-Warp Wife

P.S. Did you know I’m on Instagram? If you’d like to follow me, you’ll find that I share family fun pics, inspiration, and Time-Warp Wife’s “Prayer of the Day.” Prayer of the day can also be found every morning on my Facebook page.

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  • Alejandra

    I feel bad after reading this. Yesterday I arguing with my husband about his lack of initiative to provide more for the home so we can start to have a family. He is a very hard working man but he also let people take advantage of him, paying him much less than he deserves. He is very talented in what he does and he could start his own business but he never takes the step to provide more so we can start a family. It seems he doesn’t have any goals or dreams.I know my attitude with him is not wise but how can I act when my husband doesn’t have any plans for our future and keep living from paycheck from paycheck? What should be my right attitude? We have been married for almost 3 years and I really would like to have children. Please I would deeply appreciate your help! Thanks

  • Anonymous

    I guess my question would be, how do I address issues that come up without letting all the wind out of his sails? How can I bring up something without making him feel like a failure as a father/ husband? Example: putting down my oldest son- his step son, causing him to feel like he can’t please him or that he just isn’t good at anything. Or Pick over every little thing the kids do when he gets home, tired from work. OR “Doing” selfish things in private and not make time for us in the bedroom. Or Choosing the tv over the family everyday, every weekend. He is a great husband. These are not things I hold against him. These are not hills I want to die on or give a foothold to the devil in bitterness. In the past, I have let my negative thinking spin out of control and would cry and feel like he is like this because he regrets even marrying me, and didn’t even really want to. I have felt like a burden and unwanted because of his sin issues, but I know they are just the areas Satan knows how to tempt him and cause him to sin. I want to show grace and not be angry. I do see God working in our lives. I am so grateful for the grace God has given us to sustain and strengthen our marriage. I do all those things you listed already. I think he is a great leader. I am glad God gave me a husband- I thought I would be single the rest of my life. I affirm him all the time- it just flows out as an expression of my love for him. I pray for him, with him constantly. He is my best friend, and I know I am his. We confide in each other and encourage each other, too. . Just, HOW do I encourage him to change in those areas? When I bring things up in areas that have become a struggle, he feels like a failure and gets down. I am lost in understanding when iron should sharpen iron, and when not to say anything. I also don’t know what it looks like to address issues in an encouraging way instead of discouraging so that I am actually spurring him on to good deeds and not working against him.

    • J

      I found that telling my husband things about our boys that I have discovered to be helpful to them or empowering for them and how they individually reacted seem to help. He told me later that he didn’t feel like I was telling what to do and what he was doing wrong but rather he felt that he had been given new tools to use in regards to his interactions with. When he started seeing positive results we also were able to discuss behaviour that we were both involved in that was negative and not helping our boys. I understand how difficult it can be to encourage but also to take a stand and things are not right or working. After much praying from myself my husband one day said that he found the proverb that says the fool despises discipline and correction, God is the one who does the heart changing. 😉

  • Sabra Penley

    Darlene, this is such great advice. Your five ways are so simple and yet so necessary. It’s easy to get wrapped up in all we have going on in our day that we miss the opportunity to inspire the one closest to us–the one we committed to love and cherish. I’m taking notes on this post and will keep it in a prominent place to remind me to cheer my husband on each and every day. You’re an inspiration to me!

  • Wendy

    “Iron can’t sharpen iron unless it’s in contact.” So good! He’s been traveling a lot and I’ve been speaking… when he is home I need to slide up close. Just where his long lost rib belongs. Thank you for the reminder!

  • jennieb

    I was wondering if it would be OK if I quote something you wrote here (“When we inspire someone, we breathe life into them”) on my Facebook wall, which is not public, but could be shared by my friends. I would of course, give you credit. If you have the time to answer and let me know, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks, and I love your blog!

  • Christianne

    How do I encourage a husband who is emotionally distant? Sometimes talking to him scares me because I don’t know of his reaction. He shares very little with me and I’d like that to change. Any suggestions?

    • Darlene Schacht

      I think that when you’re doing things together that he enjoys, you might find that conversation flows more easily and naturally than if you just sit down and say, “Can we talk about…?”

      I would focus on being together and spending time together even if it’s quiet time for a while. It’s okay to be quiet. And it’s okay to be quiet, some men are wired differently.

  • Katie Hamilton

    Love this quote: “When we inspire someone we breath life into them. When we discourage others, we drain them.”
    A lot of this could also (for a single gal like me, still at home!) really apply to your relationship with younger brothers and sisters!
    Great stuff!