Oops. I did it again.
Nagged. Corrected. Rolled my eyes. Sighed.
When will I ever learn?
We love to do what we’ve been equipped to do. Traveling around the United States with our kids and learning to trust in God’s provision has been exhilarating and exhausting at the same time. But I won’t lie to you—it isn’t always been what we wish it would be.
It’s usually much harder.
It’s been a rough week on the road for me and my beloved. And when I say “beloved,” I’m serious. This man I married, he is the other half of me. The best half. He’s the keel that keeps me and all my crazy ideas in orbit around planet earth. Without him, I’d be orbiting some other planet, no doubt. He soothes my anxious heart. He’s patient. He’s kind. He’s rock-solid and steady. People like him. And, he thinks I’m hot. Goodness knows that after seven children and stretch marks that take up most of my torso, I need his affirmation.
Yes, he drives me crazy. In all the good ways, and some of the bad.
Here’s the thing: I’m a “shoot and ask questions later” kind of woman. Jay waits. I say what I’m thinking. Jay’s quiet until he knows what he wants to say. (I could learn from that.) Something that the Lord has been teaching me this week is that I am prone to correcting my husband when I should be quiet. There. I said it. Sorry if you think less of me. (The line is forming to the left.)
Lately, I’ve heard that “still small voice” a little bit louder. God is reminding me to affirm my husband. To love him. To let him lead. (Tough for a woman like me.) This morning, I had to chuckle as I was reading my Bible. It was so funny in fact, that I snapped a picture of it.
Okay, okay. I get it. But what really stood out to me was that last part: “To restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.”
Boy, that’s the truth. Husbands are not to “control” their wives. Wives are to be self-controled.
Godly wives are to be guided by the Holy Spirit. To love and respect their husbands. Nagging is the opposite of respect, isn’t it? Nagging says, “I don’t like the way you do this. Do it my way instead.” Nagging breeds resentment. I’ve been around nagging women. Lord, help me to be more like you and less … like me.
Women, we need more of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Wonderful things happen when we allow Him to have His way. Self-control is a fruit of the spirit. It’s evidence that God is at work in my heart and that I’m listening.
If you’re struggling with self-control in this area, you’re not alone, believe me. Let’s give it to the Lord and then wait in the practice of surrender to see what God will do. The obvious beneficiary of a wife who does not nag is her husband, but as I grow, I receive a blessing too. The blessing that comes from learning when to speak and when to be quiet is more than a gift to my husband—it is a gift to all who would see us as well. Ultimately, it’s a gift for our children and grandchildren when we learn to be controlled not by men, but by God’s spirit.
Stay in His Word!