5 Reasons Every Wife Should Encourage Her Husband

5 Reasons Every Wife Should Encourage Her Husband

No one is useless in this world who lightens the
burdens of another.
― Charles Dickens

Darkness enveloped the sky drawing its curtain around us, while the rumble of thunder composed a symphony of sound that was carried by on the wings of the wind.

It was only 8 pm, but Michael was fast asleep. Stretched out on his recliner by the window, he dozed off while two little puppies wrestled under his chair.

The steady tip-tapping of rain made me want to curl up beside him and fall asleep too, but I had some dishes that needed to be cleared away and some laundry to do for the morning.

I wasn’t surprised to see him sleeping like that. I knew he’d be exhausted after the crazy week he just had. Working overtime every night, he was struggling to catch up at work.

And the weekend? It wasn’t much better. Since he’s been at the shop so much lately, the honey-do list was long and he was determined to get it all done.

He’s a hard worker, there’s no doubt about that. And weeks like this remind me of just how hard he pushes himself when the going gets tough.

There’s a lot of weight on that man’s shoulders. In fact, I can say that about most husbands I know. Even when they aren’t facing deadlines at work, they are dealing with the spiritual and financial responsibilities that come with leading a family.

While many of them appear to have everything under control, most of our husbands would not only appreciate encouragement from us, they would benefit from it.

Any mom who cares for a growing child knows the importance of praise in their children’s life. Not only does it help to build a healthy sense of self-esteem, it also reminds a child that he or she is loved.

In the same way, any wife who cares for her husband will also know the importance of praise in a marriage. It’s vital to a growing relationship.

In “103 Words of Affirmation Every Husband Wants to Hear,” Matthew L. Jacobson writes, “We need your affirmation – we have to have it and, oh, how we thrive with it. Typically, men are quiet about these things but that doesn’t mean we need and enjoy our wife’s affirmation any less. And every man feels it: When his woman is behind him, he can slay dragons.”

Do you realize that there are four verses in Proverbs alone that talk about nagging wives? They are referred to as quarrelsome, fretful, and a continual dripping. If you have ever experienced a leaky roof, you’ll know how annoying that is. We experienced one about 20 years ago in our back porch, and regardless of how many times I emptied the pail it would only fill up again.

That’s the danger with nagging. It becomes a never-ending habit if left unchecked, and unfortunately it festers resentment.

Praise on the other hand has the reverse affect. It builds the bond of marriage and draws a couple closer together.

That’s only two of the benefits, but there are so many more. Let’s look at five of them:

  1. When you affirm him, you are affirming your adoration of him. Knowing that someone loves you deeply strengthens the bond of marriage. Think of it this way: we form the strongest friendships with those that we deeply trust.
  2. When you praise him for the little things he does, it’s more likely that he’ll be encouraged to repeat them in the future.
  3. When I praise my husband, whether it be in his presence or in his absence, we bear witness of our marriage covenant. Keeping in mind that marriage reflects the covenant between Jesus Christ and the church it’s important to honor our vows in the best way we know how.
  4. Kindness is an attractive quality. There’s no possible way a wife can be attractive when she’s constantly nagging her husband. Sure, you can put the pretty on, but unless you’re also attractive it wears thin. There’s nothing appealing about a critical spirit.
  5. He’ll be glad to come home. Let’s face it, the world is tough place. Many of our husbands are dealing with difficult situations at work and need a sense of relief when they walk through the door. Unfortunately, some other husbands are working with women who are building them up outside of the home. If we want a husband who is glad to come home to his wife, we can make him feel welcome by letting him know that we appreciate him, that we respect him, and that we’re glad he is with us.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht

This article is an excerpt from my book, The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife: 18 Powerful Lessons for Personal Growth.

This post contains an Amazon affiliate link. Please read my full disclosure.


  • Cecilia

    Very very true. A critical spirit is not appealing. I am truly blessed and I have a new thing to learn everyday on time wrap.

    May God abound in your ministry as you strive to train the young women as commanded in James.

    This is an eye opener for me. I pray that God will help me become a better wife to Peter my husband of 13 years and my 3 adorable children.

    I am loved by an Almighty God. Elohim the eternal one who never changes.


  • Cheryl

    Thank you for this article. My husband IS my Godsend and so desire to be the Godly woman/wife God called me to be. We are going on our second year of marriage and I am still amazed that I am a wife now. I never dreamed that would happen. I give God the glory for bringing us together. I never want to be critical or a nagging wife. My husband really sacrificed alot by marrying me and taking care of me. Again, thank you for this article as I will apply it in my life for my husband!

  • Steve

    Good article, thank you. Unfortunately for me in my situation, I’ve come to realize 5 things as it relates to this article:
    1. My wife chooses to not adore me and chooses not to trust me because I ‘fail in the little things’ – ie… buy the wrong kind of butter, don’t wear the right clothes, forget where a certain dish goes specifically, etc…
    2. Praise for the little things? See number one above
    3. Praise for me as a husband? I do get some of that if it will make her look good, especially on social media. ‘Look what my husband just got me’ or ‘Look where my husband took me’ type of posts. Hiwever, the reality behind closed doors is a different picture.
    4. Kindness IS attractive. Great point. Maybe this is why I’m having negative feelings (being unattracted) to my wife without realizing it. Part of me is attracted, and part of me isn’t. I’m having one part grow larger than the other over time and I bet you can figure out which one that is.
    5. I cannot even begin to tell you the number of times I now have to pray on the way home from the office after a long day just to ask the Lord to help me have a good attitude before I walk through the door. I’m at the point now where if I was encouraged in some way, I would think something was wrong. Wanna know the best way to encourage a man who is trying? Respect him.
    I read an article recently titled the top 10 things never to say to your husband. As sad as this is to admit, my wife has said all of them to me with the exception of one of the 10, and says them regularly. Number one on the list? “I don’t respect you”. I’ve communicated that this hurts, but she literally tells me this at least three times a week. At least.

    So, if you’re a wife reading this, dont take lightly the need for affirmation. It chips away slowly and cuts deeply.

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