Intimacy in the Christian Marriage – Part 1 of 3 – Is God Silent?

There’s something about today’s guest that gives me goose bumps in a spiritual way. She quickens my soul, draws me to Christ, and ignites a fire deep in my soul.

I’ve been able to sit down and chat with Jeanette (A Moment With MOM) a couple of times over the past few years, and each time I walked away changed. I can’t exactly put my finger on it, other than the fact that she’s steeped in the love of Christ. Her wisdom, and the compassionate way she delivers it,  makes me want to live differently and think differently.

When I heard that she had a series on intimacy in the Christian marriage, I was curious. Few bloggers handle this topic with wisdom and depth. I hungered for a deeper conversation that’s based on the truth of God’s word. That’s exactly what Jeanette delivered in her “Intimacy in the Christian Marriage” series.

I asked Jeanette if I could publish three of her articles this week, and she has given us permission to enjoy them.

And so, with her blessing, these are the three instalments we’ll have in this mini series:

Part 1 – Is God Silent? (today)
Part 2 – Overcoming Pornography
Part 3 – When I Don’t Feel Like Being Intimate

Also, don’t forget that Saturday we start our brand new “Quieting Your Heart for the Holidays” series. You can find out all about that series by clicking here.

God is not silent on this subject. He cares deeply about His people experiencing the pleasure of intimacy between husband and wife. We were created to glorify God and while it may seem odd to some or uncomfortable at first, we most definitely can glorify God in the marriage bed.


Intimacy in the Christian marriage must be a subject I get asked most about from young mommas. There’s a good reason for that. It is such a vital aspect of marriage and yet, the “older women” who were to teach the younger women how to love their husbands, and children have really remained silent on the topic. This has caused  many to seek council apart from those that know Truth. We need to try and help in this area. No matter how “old” we are, we are probably an “older” woman to someone.

Well, let’s see if I can help in some way to answer your questions.

There are so many personal factors that go into a subject like this. It’s normally best as a conversation one on one with each other. I will have to answer “generally” and pray that God uses this post to help you experience the beauty of intimacy that He created!

God is not silent on this subject. He cares deeply about His people experiencing the pleasure of intimacy between husband and wife.

We were created to glorify God and while it may seem odd to some or uncomfortable at first, we most definitely can glorify God in the marriage bed.

So, what does God have to say on this subject? How do we really glorify Him in this area of our lives?

God has plenty to say!

It all started in Genesis!

Genesis 1: 27-28 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them and God said unto them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

In Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an helpmeet for him. 

God established the union of marriage between a man and woman from the very beginning. It is God’s plan for one man and one woman to be joined in marriage establishing the start of a family unit in which children will be born and raised for His glory. However, that wasn’t his only purpose of creating this union! If you examine Scripture, you’ll see that often He lets us know of great sorrow and how others were comforted through this action of oneness. Other passages talk to us about the delight of intimacy, and others warn us of neglecting this area of our marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

God created us to “know” each other through this intimate act of marriage on a regular basis. So then, how does it become something beautiful and Holy when the world seems to have made it simply an act of human instinct with no rules, no boundaries, and its only purpose is self-satisfaction?

To answer that simply, it will become a Holy experience when we direct our hearts to seek God even through the intimate moments between husband and wife. When we turn off the lights, and shut the door we need to make sure we’ve not tried to put God on the other side of that door. We must allow Him to be God and rule our hearts and thoughts even in this time of intimacy.

Boy, there’s a lot for us to talk about on this topic isn’t there?! I want to make sure I’m keeping it clear and building a good foundation that we can all develop our thoughts on, the Word of God.

So how are we to behave in this most intimate time of marriage? What is okay and what’s not is probably the question that is asked of me most. Next would be how to help husbands that struggle with pornography and it’s influence in the bedroom. Then would be the question of how to handle this time of marriage when we don’t “feel” like participating.

I invite you to join my dear Sister in Christ, Darlene, on her site 365 Marriage Prayers to begin covering your marriage in prayer 365 days a year!

I will be posting Intimacy in the Christian Marriage Part 2 tomorrow. I hope you’ll join me then!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood
A Moment With MOM


MrsJosephwoodsJeanette has a passion to encourage women through the sharing of real life, everyday moments. Sharing glimpses into her life on the topics that matter most to her; marriage, family, adoption, special needs parenting, homeschooling, and thriving physically and spiritually as women. She enjoys playing her cello, reading, writing, and living a small homestead lifestyle, including the making of cheese when she has extra time. Jeanette is the mother of 11 children and a grandmother to three little ones so far.

Visit Jeanette on her blog: A Moment With MOM
Follow her on Facebook: A Moment With MOM



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Quieting Your Heart for the Holidays - A 30-day prayer journal designed to draw you closer to God through the holiday season

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  • Keri

    I love this. This is a topic that seems to be too “uncomfortable” for believers to talk about. I feel that if we enlightened Christian on GOD’S purpose for intimacy we would have so many more willing to live in intimacy with Christ until they get married. Thanks for this!

  • Anonymus

    Been married for decades, both Christians, but it’s been almost 7 yrs since we were initmate. His choice , not mine. Have been through counseling, prayer and many tears over this. Nothing changes. My heart is broken and my spirit crushed and no one knows but God. Every time a posting like this comes along, I feel worse. Any thoughts for me?

    • Darlene Schacht

      I’m so sorry to hear that. I know that you aren’t alone. Many men and women are struggling with the same thing. We can’t change another persons heart, but God can, and it’s His job to do that, not ours. Continue to pray for this area of your marriage. Try opening up lines of communication (I assume you probably have), and don’t blame yourself for his actions unless of course there is something you are aware of.

      It can be too easy to say, I’m not sexy enough, I’m not alluring enough, I’m not loving enough… but that’s rarely the case. You’re more than enough.

  • Ade

    I am glad to be ‘taught’ by the older women on this issue. By God’s grace, I and my husband have kept ourselves and we are planning our marriage soon. Any ‘tips’ as to how to enjoy this gift is welcomed. Thank you for taking out time to talk to us women. God bless u Mrs Darlene n Mrs Jannette.

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