Sometimes I can be cranky… especially when my husband parents differently than I do. For example, I like an early bedtime and lately my husband has been allowing the children to stay up late… too late for mommy’s patience! lol! And when I get cranky… I get critical…
It’s easy for me to slip into the role of teacher and judge to my poor husband. I think as wives, we see our husbands faults and point them out – but does taking that role ever bring a woman marital bliss? Nope!
We know that when our husbands fell in love with us it was NOT because we were wonderful teachers and judges…
They married us because they loved the sparkle in our eye when we smiled at them.
They loved how we made them feel.
They loved how we respected their thoughts and wanted to hear and understand them.
They loved how we embraced their dreams of the future and were so trusting and loyal and how we overlooked their short comings.
Then they married us – and well – Proverbs 19:13 says “a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.”
Do you catch yourself maybe not criticizing your husband out loud but thinking critical thoughts in your heart – maybe he comes home late from work one night and you’re annoyed that dinner is cold. Then he does it again. Then he does it again and suddenly you boil over with anger and an abundance of bitterness comes out. Yea – I’ve been there!
Luke 6:45 says “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.“
What if in the dinner situation, we thought how blessed we are to have such a hard working husband who brings a pay check home so we can have a warm home, food on the table and a bright future for the children? There are women who are all alone at dinner time with no husband to be expected. They are living pay check to pay check and worried about their children’s future. If we thought this way – when our husband walked through the door he’d be greeted with a warm hug (and maybe a big ol’ wet kiss) rather than the cold shoulder.
Who we are at home, behind closed doors, is who we really are.
Do our husbands come home to a quarrelsome wife or a wife who has a sparkle in her smile when she looks at him?
Do our husbands feel judged by us or do they love the way we make them feel?
Now you may say – “but Courtney – you don’t know the awful things my husband does!”
I don’t – you are correct – but I do know that God’s word says to not be quarrelsome and to store up good things in our hearts – it’s important we follow God’s principles in marriage.
Sometimes, we need to have a talk with our husbands to air or resolve issues . But other times we need to choose to overlook their flaws and look at our own. The reality is – I can be a critical and cranky wife at times and that is not okay. We need to resolve our own heart issues and choose to have joy because joy does not come from our husbands but from God.
Walk with the King!
Women Living Well
Courtney appeared on Rachael Ray as 50’s Housewife. She homeschools her two children, has a degree from Moody Bible Institute, and blogs on faith, strong marriages, parenting and homemaking. Courtney is the author of Women Living Well: Finding Your Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids and Your Home.